Just One

Lately, I've been working on a new mantra to tell myself. I've come up with "just one". Just one thing to look forward to, just one moment in the day to find joy or beauty, just one breath to keep going. 

I wasn't going to even speak of it but after speaking with my therapist today, he thinks I should. As I've mentioned, I'm going through a difficult time right now. Usually, I suffer in complete or near total silence. However, this issue was too big and I reached out to a select handful of friends. Again, I really have a tough time opening up to others that they won't hurt me with my weaknesses. Guess what? One of those supposed friends did just that. She took my pain and threw it back in my face, by text no less. There was no help, no support, no reasoning other than I guess her need to feel righteous. She assumed things that wasn't her place and judged me for how I'm working through things. That's not a friend. That's not even a decent person. 

I, and I'm only speaking for myself, am doing what is best for me right now. I am not drinking (other than the two margaritas last Friday night) because I don't need to mask my pain. I'm not eating the best, but I'm making sure I eat. I sit outside some. I make sure that I get out of bed and shower. I talk with my therapist. I talk with my real friends. I talk to my mom. And I take things as just one. 

Three generations of the same line: Spice, Spice Girl and Fudgie. I had to call her Fudgie because she looks so much like Fudge I kept getting confused!